If a man fails to value you, the key thing to keep in mind is…

How to Handle a Man Who Doesn’t Appreciate You

If a man fails to value you, trying harder, overgiving, or staying longer won’t teach him appreciation. True change comes from how you respond to being undervalued.

1. Be Honest With Yourself
Reflect on your feelings: Do you feel taken for granted? Are you emotionally drained? Is he contributing effort or just doing the minimum? Avoid excusing his behavior—see it clearly.

2. Communicate Clearly—Once
Express your needs without arguing or pleading. For example: “I feel unappreciated when you [specific behavior]. I need [specific change]. If this doesn’t happen, I’ll reconsider our relationship.” Afterward, step back and observe actions, not words.

3. Stop Over-Functioning
Stop always initiating contact, fixing emotional problems, or giving more than you receive. Allow him to notice the absence of your energy—it often triggers awareness of his behavior.

4. Set Boundaries and Consequences
If your needs are ignored, walk away from blame-filled arguments, pause intimacy or favors, and consider leaving if respect isn’t restored. You can’t make someone value you, but you can remove yourself from a one-sided relationship.

5. Remember Your Worth
His lack of appreciation reflects his limitations, not your value. Some men are selfish, emotionally unavailable, or unable to love consistently—you can’t fix them.

6. Be Prepared to Leave
Sometimes absence sparks change. If it doesn’t, you still win by freeing yourself from a draining dynamic. If he changes, it must be shown through actions, not promises.

7. Evaluate Your Limits
Ask yourself if you can remain content if nothing changes. If not, you already know what to do. Red flags include noticing you only when you stop giving, dismissing feelings, avoiding accountability, and prioritizing being right over being kind.

The bottom line: You’re not asking too much; you’re just asking the wrong person. The right partner will appreciate you naturally.